For 20 years of my adult life I have sat behind one of these quirky little machines. I wonder just how many hours I logged over the years. It was the perfect job. I was somewhere different every day, with a different set of folks at every job; I've heard things that would make you fall in the floor laughing, and things that would make you cry, make you mad, make you sad. Actually, I think I've heard it all in 20 years.
It was the type of job that the more you worked, the more $$ you made. But with $$ also comes stress. You needed to put out a perfect transcript. All of your t's crossed and your i's dotted. After all, we are talking about people's lives, and their money! So it's important, right? And you would also get the occasional: Can I get those 300 pages by tomorrow? Thank God for computerized translation.
So, once I had kids, it was no longer the perfect job after all. Everyone else's woes did not compare to raising my children. Just not the sort of job that allows you to dedicate quality time to your family. At least not the way I wanted. Maybe if you had your family close by that was willing to be there when you needed them. I did have sweet Nanny Nellie. She was good to my kids. Still is. She calls all the time to check on us. But my kids didn't want a nanny, they wanted their mommy, who oftentimes was sitting in the next room behind closed doors working.
Little did I know at that time that God had given me two very unique and special children that would need me far more than any judge or attorney ever could.
It's been a long year for our family. One of tears, lack of understanding, questioning God's Grace, and running the race of endurance.
But God is faithful and good, even when we are not. He has held my hand the whole way, and has never let go.
He has taken us down the road of depression and anxiety. It is very dark, lonely, hurtful, and sad. I do not know His reasons for our journey, except to say, He is Sovereign. I am finally getting my sweet, funny, compassionate husband back, our kids are doing awesome in school, and as time marches on things are getting back to "normal," whatever that means.
I see tragedy on the daily news and hear the tragedy that has struck my neighbor's life, and I am feeling the need to pray for them more than ever. Sometimes the mind consumes your every thought and drags you down into the pit of darkness. Maybe to the point where you can no longer even see the light. The truth is, there is not a lot of help out there for the mentally ill, but that's for another post. For this time of year, depression is heavy on many people's hearts. How ironic. It's supposed to be a time of peace and joy, when in fact for a lot of people there is a lot of darkness and sorrow, for whatever reason. Maybe we'll discuss all of that later. But for now ~
On another note, I had been contemplating the aspect of going back to work. The problem was I wanted the perfect job. You know, one that I could work the hours that my kids were in school, be off on all the holidays they were off, et cetera, et cetera. All that in this wonderful economy!! I secretly thought to myself - probability of it happening - not ~ therefore I didn't think all that much more about it than just that.
But a few months ago one of the law firms here in town that was an old client of mine called. I love this firm. I love all the ladies there, and even the attorneys. They asked if I wanted to come and fill in for one of the ladies that had broken her arm and was needing surgery. (The office manager knew I wasn't working and the kids had gone to school.)
So I said, sure, why not?
I haven't stepped foot in an office in 7 years. Oh my goodness, I can't believe it's been that long. But it's much like getting back on that old bike. I loved seeing old friends. It was nice to see all of them again.
The time while I was there, the managing partner asked if I would like to come on board permanently. I said, well, I have been considering part-time work, but we can talk about it. We talked and here's the deal - he said I can work whatever I wanted!! I talked to my family about it, and their response was Why not? They've given me the option to work 8-2:30, off in time to pick up the kids from school. 30 hours a week and I get all the full-time benefits. They have most of the government holidays off, so I would be off on most of the kids school holidays. And Greg, well, he has a mountain full of vacation, so if I have to work, he can be off, if need be. And the drive is literally 10 mins from my house. The perfect job!
I believe it's another one of God's blessings He has bestowed upon me, and I would be honored to work with these men and women. No gossip, no turnover in staff, and no stress! The fact that they actually made a position for me is an honor. And then the flexibility! Oh my goodness!
They will not be needing me until after the first of the year. Should they happen to change their minds and decide they do not need me after all, that will be okay with me too. I have plenty to do in order to serve my family right here. But if they do call me back, I will be ready.
I'm excited to see what 2013 has in store for us. I see quite a few changes coming.
I hope yours will be joyful and filled with our Lord Jesus Christ! After all, Tis the Reason for the Season
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