BOYS - SUGAR AND SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE

Well, a special friend and old work collegue of mine called me this week to say that her and her husband had split up, with no intentions on reconciling the marriage. Unfortunately, I was not shocked as I have become immuned to friends calling and saying they are divorcing. It's sad but true. It's all around us. Seems like most of the time it's the woman who's had enough. Why is that? Is it because men are inconsiderate and selfish? Somewhere along the line it seems they've been raised to think that the important things in life are to get a good job and a wonderful house and car. But what about the family? Most are more interested in spending time with their friends or their extracurricular activities, it seems. I don't have the most perfect husband in the world, but he is just about the most perfect dad. He spends most of his free time with his children, feeds them, takes them places, even changes diapers when that was necessary! He's even a very loving disciplinarian. He even gives them more hugs and kisses than they care to have.

But, for instance, tonight, Sunday, our church was having their Sunday nite gathering, with a dessert social afterwards. I had forgotten all about this event and had not planned for it, i.e., supplying a baked good! It was Sunday morning at church that I was reminded. So when we got home I decided I did not feel like going all the way back to the store just to pick up a few items for a dessert. I made the comment that we had plenty of baked goods in the house (since we had been by the bakery Saturday after our usual Cook Shack outting, and had plenty of junk already). I decided I would not bring anything to the social and that we would eat at home.

Well, my darling husband couldn't believe his ears. "You mean you're not going to bring a dessert?"
"No, why should I? We can just eat something at home."
"You mean you're not going to do this for your church?"
"You go to the store for me and I'll make it."
"I'm not going to the store."
"I'm not either."

Well, I think perhaps my hubby was sort of wanting me to make dessert so that he could indulge in all of those wonderful desserts from the other little ole ladies in the church, therefore I needed to bring something, although he would not admit to that.

My first thought was how selfish he was. He wanted me to go to the store and make dessert while he took his usual Sunday afternoon nap!!! After all, I had fixed lunch on that Saturday night for our Sunday meal after church, with no thanks and any sort of appreciation from him.

Doesn't this all sound a little silly? But this is the kinds of things that people are divorcing over, what they think are inconsiderate, selfish men.
It brings my heart to tears, especially when there are children involved. Ask any child if he wishes his parents lived together or apart and see what their answer would be. My lovely friend who can take no more of her marriage has two children the age of mine, who will now have to go to counseling because of anger issues, and the plain fact that they just don't understand. My heart truly goes out to them.

Well, we can barely change the bad and ugly about our ownselves, much less our husbands. But I do believe compassion, selflessness, and kindness can start with this little generation here:


My little darling Caleb is three and is turning into the sweetest little boy ever! He loves to help his mommy around the house, he always holds the door for Laci and me when we are going somewhere, and he totes her violin to and from the car when we go to practice. When I ask everyone to make their beds first thing in the morning after breakfast, he's the first one done!

I realize this is probably just the little "helpful stage" that all toddlers go thru, but why couldn't we mothers train our little men to be like this all the time? Why can we not train them to grow up to be men that love their families above all else and want to spend time with them, hold them in high regard, and treasure them as long as we are on this earth? I think we can, and we can start right now while they are young. Men are the backbone of the family. If dad's not happy, neither is the family!

Greg is not perfect, but I am thankful that he does so much for his family, and he loves them. Anyone who decides to pick up and play the guitar at 45 years of age just so he can make fun, memorable times with his kids who also play, is selfless! His children will cherish those times forever.

This life is tough, and it's hard. So ladies, I challenge you to take the little men in your life and show them the fruit of the spirit; kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, compassion, and love. Let's make a committment to raise our children in a loving home so that when they leave their loving home they will go to their own loving homes! The new future of tomorrow ~